


Wingmen

by Mr_Beans



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pet Store, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 11:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12840333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Beans/pseuds/Mr_Beans
Summary: While closing Chris' pet shop for the day, Chris and Phichit gripe about their similarly irritating roomates, they are hit with a brilliant idea, if their roomates won't shut up about dogs, than why not have them talk about dogs at eachother?What could possibly go wrong?





	Wingmen

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this hiding in my Doc folder for several months now but I heard there was a [Chris Zine](http://giacomettizine.tumblr.com) and in honor I thought I would share! The application closed earlier than I could manage to edit this, but the world needs more Chris so it s'okay~
> 
> I am currently in the [Soft Viktor Zine](https://twitter.com/softviktorzine/status/934217450744401921?s=09) if y'all haven't heard of it, it is so cute my dudes. There are so many talented artist's and Writers on the Zine! The perorder is coming out on the 1st of December so if you can afford it you should pick up a copy it'll be worth it!

Chris taped a few buttons on the register l, unlocking it with a small ding. Casually he looked through the bills, pondering over how best to spend the upcoming weekend. He took the weekend off and monday was a holiday it would be the longest time off he’d had in months.

He’d love to fly home for the weekend to relax in the countryside, but even he couldn’t justify spending that much money on three days of vacation, especially when two of those days would be in transit. He thought he could perhaps rent a hotel in the city and party like a college student on spring break. Chris isn't sure where, but somewhere there was likely a wine tasting or lady's night he could bomb, really just about any excuse to get drunk with strangers. However, for once, Chris isn’t really in the mood for shinanagains.

Chris pouts his lip huffing a resigned sound. Of course his vacation is the one weekend he felt like sitting back on. He had planned for weeks, but now couldn't think of a thing he was in the mood to do. It had been just too busy this week for that, he wanted to do something fun and relaxing, but all that came to mind was already exhausting him. What does one do when their normal forms of entertainment are halted by tired moods?

The only thing that really came to mind was a quiet date night, maybe a movie curled up with something cute, talking deep into the night about nothing. Cuddles sounded nice, even to a sworn batchelor such as Chris, but the effort of finding someone fun to spend an evening with was too great.

What is a bachelor to do? There are only so many ideas of entertainment a man could think of on his own. One man cannot do everything after all, however he knew someone who always seemed to have an Idea.

Chris took the cash tray from the teller and walked through the alleys of dog food and cat litter to the reptile corner, where he found Phichit wiping down the glass fronts of the turtle tank.

Phichit was not a tall man but what he lacked in height he made up for in hair brained scheme that spoke directly to Chris’ soul. Phichit was quirkiest of all Chris’ employee's and quickly became Chris’ close friend after a unique parakeet incident. It has been a long and happy goofing-off-in-the-workplace-and-gossiping-about-the-other-employees ship, ever since.

“Any plans for the holiday?” Chris asked leaning nonchalantly against the wall of fish tanks. Phichit, looked up at Chris blinking his purple eyes.

“Not really.” Phichit straightened resting an elbow on the top of the turtle enclosure and gave Chris a lidded look, the very mockery of a seductive expression. “Why? Planning something exciting,” Phichit waggled his thick brows and grinned playfully.

“Haven’t decided yet.” Chris said with a soft chuckle. “I can think of a dozen things, but I just don’t have the energy for anything.”

“I’ve been having that feeling too. You think we’re getting old?” Phichit said dramatically, though he grinned as if he didn't care, he shouldn't he was years younger than Chris.

“Lord don't even, If you're getting old, than I have a foot in the grave.” Chris pushed up his glasses, shifting the drawer onto his hip. “To prove our vitality, we should go out until dawn.”

“Well I have to work tomorrow,” Phichit started. Chris waved his hand vaguely.

“Good, I’m not in the mood anyway,” Chris said in a sigh. Really though who was he to not want to go out? He must be ill. Any day he’d be up to take on the world but today for whatever reason, he felt like just a quiet weekend, small group of friends, maybe a movie. Nothing loud or over exciting, just relaxed fun. Oh lord perhaps Chris has gotten old if that all sounds nice. Phichit pushed himself up and in a single movement turned himself round to the small sink and counter.

“I was half thinking I’d take my roommate up to the city, if you wanted to come you can, I’ll need help lifting him into the car.” Phichit rolled his shoulders in a shrug, he wrung out the rag out in the sink, and then washed his slender hands.

“What’s in the city?” Chris asked, intrigued but not converted.

“A single friend of mine, whom has a dog, whom has just had a litter of puppies. It is to said puppies I am planning on dragging my roomie down to see in hopes the puppies confuse him into liking my friend at least enough to become friends,” Phichit explained, “and maybe with luck, puppies will blind roomie so much he even falls for said friend, then maybe I can have a night or two alone in my apartment.” Phichit reached forward to flick off the shelf lights with flare.

Phichit picked up the push broom and tossed it over his shoulder grinning. “I can already tell it’s not going to work out, the dork would likely spend the whole time playing with the puppies. Hence why it’s not a concrete plan.” Chris gave a sympathetic nod.

“This roomate is the professional dog trainer right?” Chris righted himself following Phichit through the store checking the cages and the sleeping pets as they went.

“Yes! The one so absolutely in love with dogs, he picks them over human company.” Phichit dramatically deposited the broom in the custodial closet. “He's adorable and sweet, but his social circle is like a grand total of me, and a very obedient poodle. It really is a crime! He should have men and woman alike falling at his feet.”

“My roommate is similar, handsome, patent, phenomenal cook, all around just a great guy, but I have to drag him out of the house to do just for shopping, let alone socializing.” Chris shook his head and gave a sigh. “He's a homebody, the type to hang out at home even if I have a date over.” Chris straightened his back faking an accent, “yes, hello man I brought home, that's right, the man wearing sweats and a hoodie in the living room is still prettier than you and me put together. He is indeed crying over a nature documentary that he will describe in sobbing detail until you lose all appetite. Oh, don't mind the dog, or cat, or the wet dog smell haunting the bathroom perpetually. Please come to my bedroom where the mood is deader than the animals in said documentary. Nice meeting you good evening.” Chris shook his head, Phichit snorted.

“That's the basic jist of it on my end, only mine talks the ear off any date I bring in before I can even get them to my room, by which point it is too late to do much, really handy on creepy dates however, apparently detailed explanations of dog genealogy manages to kill the mood for everyone.”

“They should be roommates, then they could cockblock each other with their phantom dates,” Chris laughed

“Really though. I do not understand my roomie, or his obsession of dogs... but I want the best for him, and the best for him would be someone who loves long lectures about the history of dog shows.”

They stop at the main office where Phichit, sliped his phone from his apron pocket as he pulled the apron over his head. Chris moved to the main desk, quickly filled out forms typed in the day’s total, then locked the tray into the safe, all while thinking over the conversation.

“My roommate is nice, but he’s just too timid for his own good, and only really know how to talk about animals and video games. Tragic really.” Chris Lamented, softly.

“Mine cannot shut up about animal's! Well, dogs really. You will never meet a man more drop dead gorgeous than him, until he lectures you on canine diets. Such a waste,” Phichit resigned.

Chris pulled his apron over his head ran his fingers through his bleached hair and sighed. “If only we could get them to talk animals at each other...” this is when the words suddenly hit him. Chris stopped turning a sly grin to Phichit. As if on cue Phichit looked up from his phone to meet Chris’ eyes grinning broadly.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Phichit looked ready to jump up and down in excitement, his energy palatable.

“I’ll ask if he has the holiday off.” Chris wipped out his phone rapidly typing out a text.

“Okay okay, we gotta play this right though or they’ll feel forced! Gotta be gentle, like handling wild animals, Okay?”

“Of course.” Chris said while he typed.

“Here's the plan. You and I go out on a double date, bring out the roommates, get a couple drinks in them then we leave to “use the bathroom” forcing them to talk to each other and hopefully they will make out.” Phichit clapped his hands, grinning at his idea.

“I like the way you think,” Chris beamed, “we need to set it somewhere with a romantic atmosphere, but really homely. Something that makes them feel like they need to be on best behavior, but are relaxed enough to chat.” Chris rest his chin on his fingers as he ran date ideas through his head. Phichit snaps his fingers.

“There is a perfect Italian place just off main st, past the gas station,” Phichit waved his hands trying to recall a name.

“The place with the cheap plastic grapes hanging on the walls?”

“That's the one!”

“Cialdini’s?”

“Yes!”

“That’s perfect, just classy enough to get him out of his sweats, nothing quite says relaxed and homely like a kids menu.” Chris’ phone rang he grinned, holding up his phone, “He says he's free! We’re on, can you get your roommate there by say seven?”

“He’ll be opposed, but I’m very convincing,” Phichit dismissed, “I’m so excited, oh my god I hope they talk about dogs all night!” Phichit was now literally hopping, his phone clutched close to his heart. “I need to get home and start guilting him ASAP.” Chris chuckled at Phichit’s endless enthusiasm, not a day went by that Chris regretted hiring Phichit and his endless energy.

“Here, let me send you his picture, he is the sweetest dear, one look and you’ll have no trouble convincing your roommate to come along.” Chris tapped rapidly attaching a photo and sending it over to Phichit.

“Oh that’s a good idea I’ll send you one too. Yo, my boy, is the sexyest god damn creature on earth.” Phichit’s phone pinged in his hand. He taped away, opening the text, and out of instinct he clutched his heart.

The picture Chris selected was taken at the mall when he and Yuuri were picking out new glasses. Chris had just passed square frames to Yuuri, and he clearly wasn't aware of the photo, as his chestnut eyes looked beyond the camera at Chris. The picture is under the white flattering lighting of the display case making already smooth skin look flawless. A small smile cross his thin lips as Yuuri reached up to right the frames pushing them off his plush cheeks, his expression implying he was mid sassy comment. The picture the perfect example of the beauty and grace that was Chris’ roommate.

”Ohmygod he’s perfect,” Phichit gasped, “look at them cheeks! He looks so huggable! Wow, I already can see them together. This is an amazing idea!” Chris beamed proudly at the reaction his roommate called from people, really the only thing that kept Yuuri single was how little he cared for people over animals.

“I need to go home and raid his closet, he is going to look finer than that for sure,” Chris promised

“Oh my, is that even possible?” Phichit shook his head at his phone.

Chris waved his hand dismissively. “My grandmother was a gypsy, I’ll use magic if I have too.” Phichit laughed, taking it as a joke though Chris was dead serious. Phichit was always laughing at life in a way Chris sometimes envied.

“Let me give you mine too. Then we can get to work on bippity boppity booing them into princes,” Phichit clicked away at his phone than looked up to Chris giving a wink “If your boy says no to this pic, he's either straight or blind.” Chris’ phone vibrated in his hand prompting him to open a text and corresponding picture, that invoked a low whistle.

The picture depicts a tall lithe man leaning his back against a sign that read; “No photography, No dogs.” He was tanned, but in a delicate way, complementing his silver hair and stunning blue eyes without looking garish. Strong build, wide shoulders and a sly smile. His dressed simply but tasteful, fitted dark jeans, under a black double breasted coat and turtleneck combo. One hand rests on the head of a large poodle sitting without a leash, in the other hand he holds a phone aimed at the camera wearing a suave smile. It would have been just a normal photo of a friend hiking but the man’s very presence makes it look like a photoshoot, so unbelievably handsome in every definition of the word that the picture could have been sold.

“Woof… if this doesn't work out I call dibs. My stars,” Chris fanned himself. Phichit laughed clicking his tongue and pointed at Chris.

“Wha’d I say ‘bout my man?” Phichit winked flipping his keys from his pocket. Chris imagined them together, how their physical differences would complement each other, and shook his head.

“They are going to be that gorgeous couple everyone loves and secretly hates.”

“They’ll talk about dogs till death comes a Woofing.” Phichit laughs at his own stupid joke. Chris shakes his head “Seven on monday right?”

“Yes, dress nicely nothing too casual, but not quite a suit and tie either. If you can find something to accentuate… all of this, I think we are golden.” Chris waved at his phone.

“Done!” Phichit waved his hands psyching himself up, “Ah I'm excited! Fingers crossed yeah?” Phichit asked. Chris crossed the fingers of his right hand beaming.

“Fingers crossed.”

 

* * *

 

Phichit made his way to his apartment door, flipping through his keys as he plotted out the best way to convince his roommate to join him on the date. Something chill, calm, his roommate was a very calm person after all, perhaps a little over dramatic times but in all their time living together Phichit has never really had trouble with him overreacting or being unreasonable. Yes a calm simple proposition was all he needed.

Phichit turner the key in the padlock turned the knob on the door, then kicked the door open with so much force a small gust of wind tousled his hair, just before a loud crack of door contacting the wall, a loud slam filled the room.

“VIKTOR DROP EVERYTHING!” Phichit called. scanning the living room and settling on his target, a tall fit man jumped up at the sudden entrance, a man who looked as if he had been lounging on the couch before the door slammed and woke both he and the dog on his chest. Now he was covered his face from the assault the poodle made in his scrambling attempt to greet Phichit at the door.

“Makkachin! Si- ughf-” Viktor's comment was cut off by the dog vaulting off his chest towards the the front door, barking and wagging his tail as he galloped across the hall and lept up onto Phichit.

Makkachin was a very smart dog Phichit had learned, within a week of their first moving in Makkachin knew Phichit was the kind of person to smoosh his doggy face and scratch him from head to toe. Somehow Phichit got the feeling the dog knew he worked at a pet store because whenever Phichit came home, he leapt around the room happily doing every trick he was told to do no matter what, because he knew Phichit always had a treat.

Phichit wasn't a dog person but Makkachin was obedient, enthusiastic and often times his sidekick in convincing Viktor to get out of the house. Between Phichit’s irrefutable logic and Makkachin’s puppydog eyes, there was no way Viktor could say no.

“Do you have to break the front door?” Viktor asked sitting up blurrily.

“Yes! because I need your help!” Phichit beamed standing up to his full height of 5’4”. Makkachin pushed against Phichit to sniff at his pockets for the treat he knew had to be there.

“Makka Sit.” Viktor commanded the dog obeyed but close enough to still sniff Phichit’s pockets. Viktor gives a sigh, pushing himself to his feet. “What do you need?”

“You don't have plans for Monday right?”

“I was going to take Makkachin out to the park-”

“Perfect! I have a double date on Monday and I need a friend!” Phichit pointed to Viktor sticking out his tongue a little. “That's you!” Viktor rolled his eyes walking to the kitchen.

“I told you already I don't need a boyfriend I'm too busy.” Viktor said as he pulled a cup from the counter. Phichit folded his arms, reaching in his pocket quickly to pass Makkachin a treat before gliding into the kitchen.

“It's not about boyfriends! no one said you would become boyfriends! ... immediately,” Phichit added the last part under his breath.

“I don't want to go. People are so dull.” Viktor says pouring himself warter, the dullest of drinks. Phichit clasped his hands together, looking pathetically up into Viktors eyes.

“Pleaaase! just this one date! Not for you, for me! your buddy ol’ pal of yours! the guy who drove two states over because your car broke down and you had to win that dog show. the bro who made you soup when you were deathly sick and walked your dog and all those other insane things you do to take care of Makkachin! The man who-”

“Phichit, I’m not interested.” Viktor interject with his voice stirn but a small smile on his lips. A sign that Phichit was close.

“Would it help if I said he likes dogs?” There was a small change in Viktor’s expression. “He has a pet poodle and everything~”

“Standard, toy, or miniature?” Viktor asked acting as if he wasn't interested, but no matter what breed of dog as long as it was a dog, Viktor loved it.

“You’ll have to ask him, on, the, date~” Phichit said in a playful sing song. Viktor pulled a face but Phichit could see he's won already just from the expression Viktor wore. Viktor looked like such a stirn serious man to most people, but he wasn't in the least. Under that strong and serious expression was a ditzy goof who had no hope of a happy future beyond living alone and owning a million dogs. A fate of which phichit would save Viktor from, mostly because dogs and hamsters rarely mix.

“When is it?” Viktor asked, leaning against the counter, drinking his water as casually as possible.

“Seven P.M. Monday.” Phichit answered giving a hopeful smile.

Viktor give a dramatic sigh. “Fine, but only because you need me to go.”

“Perfect! You'll have a blast! give me your phone.”

“Why?” Viktor asked reluctantly passing it over. Phichit snatches it tapping away happily.

“I gotta set five alarms to remind you about the date, in case i forget to remind you, ya know, just saving time.”

“I don't need that many,” Viktor objected. Phichit clicks his tongue.

“Girl you’d forget your own birthday if it weren't on a holiday,” Phichit returned Viktor’s phone, throwing open the fridge to dig through it for some resemblance of dinner. “Besides that we gotta plan what you're going to wear.” Phichit put an armful of food on the counter.

“I just sent a my suits all to the cleaner, they'll be ready by Monday.”

“No way! you'll be too dazzling something more casual, a dress shirt or something, OH like that shirt I bought you for Christmas, the one with the poodles.” Phichit said waving a spoon in Viktor’s direction.

“That? are you sure? It seems a bit casual.”

“Perfect. We are going for casual but sexy.” Phichit gathered ingredients together on a slice of bread than hoisted himself up to sit on the counter. “Going for simple, a ‘hi I like dogs you like dogs, let's talk about it.’ kind of look,and nothing conveys that better than a shirt with dogs on it,” Phichit explained kicking his feet.

“You're more confident in me than you should be. Remember the last guy?”

“Snake dude? okay to be fair, snakes have dog snoots I though it could work.”

“He had prison tattoos.”

“See it didn't work because you're too picky, he was a nice guy, just allergic to dogs.”

“He can't be allergic to Poodles, they don't have dog hair. Admit it he was crazy.”

“Excuse you! no one is crazy,” Phichit rest his hand on his heart, “simply misguided.” Viktor gave an unconvinced nod.

“Did I ever tell you he thought your hamsters would make a good snack for his python?”

“I knew he was bad news the moment I saw him!” Phichit gasped, then with a scoff “He is so uninvited from our Christ-haun-za party this year.”

“Can we agree GI Joe was a bad idea too while we’re on the subject?”

“Joseph, may have been a bit... enthusiastic at times, but you could have made it work.”

“Oh yeah you’re right, hey where is he by the way?”

“He is spelunking…”

“Where? Was that again?”

“Somewhere in China.”

“Do i look like the China spelunking type Phichit?” Viktor asked, gesturing at himself.

“Okay okay! But at least he likes dogs. He had a very sweet doberman.”

“A very sweet doberman he had to muzzle to keep from biting strangers.” Viktor pointed out. Phichit sighed resigned.

“Fine, Joe was a bit of a health nut, I’m sorry i thought he was built like a dream and would have given you a thrilling life.” Phichit threw his hands up, “but that was TWO out of the tens of guys i’ve thrown your way. what was wrong with Zack?”

Viktor wrinkled his nose, “Zack? he had weird teeth.”

“He’s a doctor! you’d never worry about money again! How about Gregory? Hm?”

Viktor gave an indignant huff, “He had a crooked nose.”

“But had a great sense of humor! loved makkachin! and Jake?”

Viktor rollef his eyes, “don't get me started on Jake, he was way a germaphobe, and left handed to start!”

“Viktor... just because he didn't want kiss Makkachin on the mouth, didn't mean he was a germaphobe, and lot's of people are left handed! See you're too picky! get over that and you'll have no problem. Look THIS guy has perfect teeth normal nose and a dog, not to mention, he’s calm and quiet and a little nerdy, no snakes or scary dobermans. If you find fault in him I will pay for Makkachin’s next grooming appointment.”

“Deal! I already agreed to it but i’ll suffer through for free grooming”

“Only rule is you cannot force yourself to hate him, that's cheating.”

“Done.” Viktor says. Phichit punched the air, beaming enthusiastically.

“You’ll wear the poodle shirt? It matches your eyes please! You never wear it!” Phichit begged Viktor rolled his eyes but smiled

“Fine, if you insist.” Phichit leapt from the table crumbs flying from his lap shower down for a very happy makkachin to lick up.

“Oh, man I cannot wait for you two to meet.” Phichit took Makkachin’s cheek’s and scratches his head all over.

“Isn’t this supposed to be more about your date, and less about my going?” Viktor asked Phichit turned his smile to Viktor leaning his hands on his knees.

“I already met my date thought, it would be silly to get excited over meeting him again.” Phichit sticks out his tongue than jumps to his feet. “I’m going to shower, you go walk macachin, then you and I are going to finish breaking bad asap, because i have work tomorrow and need to know how it ends so i can sleep tonight! Comprende?” Viktor laughed shaking his head a little.

“Sounds good to me.”

 

* * *

 

Chris pulled the emergency break of his car, pulling the rear view mirror to check his reflection double checking his hair before turning to his roommate giving him a look of scrutiny.

“The surprise is a date, isn't it? Even you don't check your reflection this much.”

“I might, I’m a very vain person Yuuri, you know this,” Chris smiles, reaching a hand forward to brush a lash from Yuuri's cheek. “You look ravishing dear, you should wear this more often.” Yuuri swatted Chris’ hand away.

“You can't change the subject, but it is so useless that it has no pockets and it's awkward carrying this clutch.” Yuuri waved the small rectangular bag holding enough for dinner, his insurance card, phone, and a small handwritten note of emergency contacts, his parents, sister, and a trusted dog pound where his dear Vicchan would be held till family could save him should Yuuri die on this date. A practical and overzealous habit of Yuuri’s.

“I told you to bring something with a strap.”

“you also told me my backpack wasn't acceptable…” Yuuri said with a huff. Chris rolled his eyes pushing the driver side door open stepping out into the parking lot.

“You can't complain about everything Yuuri, remember our rule.” When Chris and Yuuri first became roommates, it had been a bit tense between them, Yuuri was a simple and quiet, an indoorsy kind of man, rather sit and play through the newest pokemon in his free time than actually have fun. Chris had been bothered by it at first, feeling like Yuuri was wasting his life indoors. It wasn't until they had a sit down that Yuuri admitted that he'd felt Chris spent too much time outside. So they started a sort of weekly challenge. one day a week they would switch off what they did in their free time to prove each other wrong. and as it turns out, Video games were not terrible, and Yuuri had a high alcohol tolerance. The challenge accidentally making them into estranged friends.

Since then Chris had decided to adopt Yuuri. taking him shopping, and to his weekly classes, but of course only if Yuuri was willing. Chris had also been on the look out for just the right man for Yuuri. Not so much for his own sake, but because Yuuri needed someone to come home to, a nice man who would treat him like the prince he truly was. So far not a single man had fit. After a strict screening through Chris, they still had to last through Yuuri, who was borderline ace levels of uninterested in dating. Chris can't complain though, he really does love the challenge, he's never once failed to find someone a mate and he wasn't giving up that streak any time soon.

“I’m not complaining. I’m stating fact in an irritated tone.” Yuuri answered, having stepped from the car. He walked around the car, shimmering in his long satin tunic. Black with subtle gold horizontal threads catching the light as Yuuri walked. Long enough to be a dress, and if Yuuri didn't insist on leggings it technically would be. The collar that of a cheongsam, but drapped more loosely flattering Yuuri's curves, at the back was a cut out just wide enough to leave some for the imagination, and encourage a second date. Oddly enough not something Chris had to fight Yuuri to buy. He had been shy about it, but liked it, and after a little convincing bought on his own accord. Really, truly a delectable choice.

“Save your irritated facts for when we get home, yes?” Chris purrs, offering his arm, an offer Yuuri had only taken once, and never, including now, took it again. Yuuri instead walks beyond Chris towards the doors to the restaurant.

“If i were still stating irritated facts, i’d point out restaurants are more suspicious to this being a date,” Yuuri says. “though I'm surprised this is not the level of fancy dining you lead me to believe.”

“I simply said, casual formal.” Chris bemuses.

“Casual formal for you is a three-hundred dollar Turtleneck, four-hundred dollar cardigan, and two-hundred dollar tailored dress pants. I refuse to add socks shoes and wallet into that total as the rest is already insane.”

“Yes, I'm so proud you're catching on.” Chris gives Yuuri a small applause smiling at the achievement. Yuuri gives an indignant Huff checking that the back of his blouse covered the curve of his ass.

Yuuri continued to say nothing, looking over the dim candle lighting of the Italian restaurant, raising his brow at a family having dinner, clearly rethinking his opinion. That is until he heard the waitress and Chris.

“reservation for Giacometti.”

“Ah, yes, come along.” She said, leading them to a table set for Four. This is when Yuuri gave his death glare. Chris with practised grace pulled a chair out for Yuuri.

“What's wrong?” Chris, asks smooth and innocent as a cat.

“I knew it, this is another double date,” Yuuri growls folding his arms and planting his feet.

“oh my stars! it is! you were right all along! How nice,” Chris purrs. Yuuri glaires a little more intensely. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing,” Yuuri says, giving a stubborn huff, before taking the chair opposite what Chris had pulled. “Just wondering how you'll like spending next week waiting for ‘Game palace’ to open for that shooty game release.” Chris narrows his eyes a bit.

“I’m sure i’ll have fun, meeting new people is healthy after all,” Chris take the seat beside Yuuri lifting the menu under his gaze.

“I find it to be more awkward than not,” Yuuri says, neatly gliding his hands over his thighs to place his clutch there.

“But much like your video games, the experience makes you stronger, no? Yuuri gives a small chuckle.

“Okay, fair enough.”

It is just then, Chris’ phone vibrates. Chris places the menu down pointing out the vegetarian options for Yuuri, politely tugging out his phone to read a quick text from Phichit asking for the name on the reservation. After sending it, he received another quick message asking

“and how does one pronounce that?” Chris shakes his head smiling a little as he typed out a response. a lack of response was followed by a couple being lead to their table, and don't mind if they do.

Phichit looked rather charming, a black satin button up printed with tiny hamsters falling into a smiling heap at the hem, black baggy shorts, Knee highs black flats, and a round brimmed hat. Beside him Chris had to bite back a gasp. a tall fit man walked beside Phichit, a robins egg blue button up, with poodles polkadotted in a tastefully small pattern. The blue complemented the white jeans he wore over a perfect color brown leather shoe. and to top it off, he wore a black jacket over his shoulders, offering warmth but ready to drape over someone else with the drop of a hat. Phichit was a god, or at least lived with one.

In one smooth assessment, Chris decided this man knew fashion enough to save Yuuri in his on and off tastes. He was well put together, organized, perfect for Yuuri who was always losing track of time. and lastly the man's skin was ever so slightly tanned. indicating that he would very likely force Yuuri outside. So far this man was doing very well for himself.

Chris pulls himself from his chair with a genteel air, walking around to greet Phichit with a hug, quietly whispering in his ear as he pat the back of Phichit. “How is Viktor single?”

“Hopefully Yuuri will cure that.” then they pull apart grinning like conniving parents bringing their children together in marriage.

Chris eyes Viktor over, meeting his stunning blue eyes. “And hello to you.” Chris smiled offering his hand. Viktor takes it, keeping eye contact, shaking firmly. If Viktor had been applying for a job, Chris would hire him based on that handshake alone.

“Pleasure is mine,” Viktor says in a warm and comforting tone. So far Viktor was blowing away every screening test Chris had faster than anyone Chris tried to set Yuuri up with. But he didn't quite get excited until he saw Yuuri's reaction. Yuuri had strange tastes and though Viktor could be perfect it would always boil down to what Yuuri thought.

Phichit places a hand on Vikor’s elbow. “Viktor, this is Chris.” Phichit. waved between them, “Chris vise versa.” Chris released his hand turning to Yuuri and nearly fainting! Yuuri was on his feet looking a kind of excited he only got when playing with his dog.

“Viktor, this is Yuuri he works in an animal shelter,” Phichit continued. “Yuuri, this is-”

“Viktor Nikiforov, yes I know, I’ve seen a few of your shows,” Yuuri lifts his hand to Viktor nodding, with a small smile. “Makkachin is one of the smartest agility dogs i have ever seen.” Chris felt Phichit’s hand grip his elbows and honestly agreed thoroughly. Yuuri never took interest in people, especially not the cute ones!

“aw, well thank you, he gets it from his parents, one of the easiest dogs i’ve ever trained,” Viktor says, taking yuuris hand to shake.

“How young did you start him?”

“six months, I got him the moment he stopped nursing because i thought he might pick up bad habits from his litter, but he's broken from most of them.”

“I got my poodle at around a year and a half, she's a rescue. Icve never owned a poodle before her but they are a wonderful breed.”

“Aw, how sweet, standard, mini-”

“Toy.”

“My mother had a toy poodle when I was growing up, she was so sweet.”

Chris shook his head in disbelief turning to a grinning Phichit. Viktor and Yuuri had been talking about dogs for about three full minutes now, and never once broke eye contact, or let go of each other's hand. Things were going more than just well. things were going perfectly.  
“And what was your name?” Yuuri asks. The question pulled them both from their excitement, Chris straightens a little

“This is Phichit, we work together.” Chris says dismissively.

“Yuuri, though it seems you already knew that.” Yuuri smiles softly.

“I knew your name but not that you were cute,” Phichit laughs. They shake hands Yuuri laughing a little.

They sit at the table. Chris and Phichit intentionally making Yuuri and Viktor sit across from each other. The evening was going great, They ordered wine, Viktor impressed Chris with a broad knowledge of wines between them they settled on a simple red. Viktor smiled and nodded as Yuuri explained his vegetarianism.

“I spend all day rescuing animals, and it just doesn't sit well that I eat animals. I just feel ill.”

“How caring. It is hard work to become vegetarian from what I hear.”

“Not so bad, I miss some food but unless I know where the meat came from I just can't anymore.”

“That's brave.” The Viktor spent the next few minutes with Yuuri talking over the menu. Later while waiting for food Phichit brought up the TV they had been watching, Yuuri and Viktor had a long chat about dogs actors, and general animal actors all together.

“I think it's good, dogs need a job, and in this day and age often times they are stuck in an apartment somewhere where they can't run or play,” Yuuri says, his hand on his glass, brown eyes looking over the rim before sipping his wine slowly.

Lord Chris had never seen Yuuri pulling all the stops like this before. He was even crossing his legs, posture straight shoulders back. This was a rare sight indeed, Chris could almost kiss Viktor for pulling it from shy Yuuri.

“Truly a shame! dogs need to do things, to feel important just like you and I.” Viktor sits with his elbows on the table, his finger laced together, looking over at Yuuri, occasionally meeting Chris’ eyes, but always returning to Yuuri.

Things were going swimmingly, even deep into their main course, they spoke about dogs mostly, but briefly mentioning how Yuuri's dog and Chris’ cat had made a sort of pact of friendship. As it were Viktor talked about how his dog had to to get use a house with hamsters, as Phichit apparently took them out often. Viktor told a story of one time the hamsters had gone missing and after a long argument they found them all sleeping under Viktors bed where the dog had decided the hamsters were puppys. Chris had never heard Yuuri laugh so hard.

The night was going by without a hitch both parties were pretty inebriated, not too much, but enough to make conversation fluid and easy. After dessert Chris pushed from the table, excusing himself to clean his face. Moments later he was met in the bathroom by Phichit practically jumping off walls.

“I THINK WE DID IT!” Phichit bounced on the balls of his feet grinning broadly. “I’ve NEVER heard Viktor talk so much! he is so totally smitten.”

“It's the chiffon, everyone falls for the chiffon,” Chris says. He pulls his sleeve back estimating how long they should give the two time alone. “I’m very proud of Viktor too, he his much sweeter than I would have assumed, I worried a little when you showed me his picture, but he is a perfect fit for Yuuri.”

“I was shocked! that picture of Yuuri made him out to look so dorky, but he cleans up like a model, poor Viktor never had a prayer.” Phichit giggles, waving his hands as if to shake off the extra energy.

“They talk so easily too! We are genius’,” Chris turns to the mirror dabbing at his face with a paper towel.

“We are like ligit matchmakers, we should be paid, ” Phichit pulls out his phone flipping through apps rapidly. “Viktor's not online anywhere! they have to still be talking! when I left them Yuuri was talking about the shelter and I have never seen Viktor so engaged in a conversation! He hardly noticed me leaving.”

Chris smiled at Phichit's reflection, meeting his excited eyes. “We better be the best men at their wedding. we deserve at least that much for the trouble we went through.”

Phichit rolls his eyes grinning, “We do, but Viktor will make his dog best man I know it.”

“Why are they like this?” Chris asked, Phichit shrugs giggling slightly. Looking through his phone.

“Should we give them more than Five minutes?” Phichit tapped his shoe against the tile flooring impatiently.

“A solid seven, just enough to almost finish what they were talking about, so we can perpetuate the feeling that they have a reason to meet again.” Chris turns his wrist over looking at his watch smiling a bit thinking of how happy Yuuri had been the whole night.

“We should Photograph this momentous occasion for posterity,” Phichit exclaims, pressing as close to Chris as possible, holding up his phone and taking a picture. Chris took the phone stretching it out farther getting the better angle Phichit only came to abou Chris' chin, so his arms were just a hair too short. After twenty more pictures in various different parts of the bathroom on both their phones they decided it was time.

“Ready to break up the lovebirds up?” Chris purrs.

Phichit leaps up grinning widely. “I was born ready!”

They returned together to a quiet table, both parties on their phones, almost suspiciously not interacting. Viktor smiled up at Chris and Phichit.

“Ah there they are. We figured you two got distracted and were taking selfies in the bathroom,” Viktor laughs, and winks. Yuuri turns in his seat smiling up at the two in his soft way.

“We were checking social media for evidence,” Yuuri says.

“We may have…” Chris dismisses with a wave. Phichit gives a hard laugh.

“Maybe a few,” Phichit makes a show of tucking his phone away. Yuuri laughs, covering his mouth.

“Now their back, can we settle the bill?” Yuuri gives Viktor a look which they exchange like an old couple. Viktor reaches for the black bill, under his hand Yuuri snatches it up opening it up.

“We means WE.” Viktor says tugging the binder from Yuuri's grasp. “You can't just shoulder it all.”

“It's not that much, I can cover it.” Yuuri reaches forward, and viktor pulls the bill out of reach.

“How do you two feel about that? I think it's outrageous.” Viktor laughs.

“You're outrageous!” Yuuri pouts. Chris could die they were so cute together.

“Four way split works for me.” Phichit offers. Yuuri gives a huff leaning back in his seat.

“Yuuri, you can cover the tip. Hows that?” Yuuri throws his hands up pulling out his wallet.

“Fine… “

They pay, scooting from their chairs, Phichit and Yuuri grabbing sugar and salt packs quickly, before walking out into the chilly evening.

“This was fun,” Phichit says smiling proudly.

“I think so too,” Yuuri answers, pulling his shrug up over his shoulders. Reaching a hand forward to shake Phichit's hand, bowing slightly, then Viktor. They held each other's gaze, smiling for a moment. “You should drop by the shelter, I could show you around. might even see a dog like the look of.”

“Maybe I will.” Viktor smiles in return. Chris does his best to be patient through the goodbyes, but the moment they are in the car he can't hold back another moment.

“So?” Chris asks, turning to face Yuuri.

“Hm?” Yuuri, hums busy working on his seatbelt.

“What’s the verdict.”

“Good pasta, okay Trifle, and the wine was nice.” Yuuri calmly folds his hands in his lap leaning back in his seat.

“Anything else curb your appetite?” Chris prods. Yuuri looks out the window.

“Dunno,” Yuuri says fiddling with the hem of his tunic.

“Dunno? Please Yuuri you can't even pretend on this one it was clear as day you liked him.” Chris can't help noting the way Yuuri's ears turn pink. Yuuri turned to face Chris looking a little guilty.

“I’m sorry, was I too obvious?” Yuuri fiddled a little harder tugging at the fabric.

“You couldn't be more obvious if you made a sign, and please don't apologise,” Chris chuckles, righting himself behind the wheel buckling himself in, mentally planning out the wedding already, baby blue, gold and white everywhere. Chris could not be more satisfied with the results, they'd clicked so well, and now it was just a matter of time. Chris made a mental note to go on a diet and call his talor.

They got as far as a block.

“Are you okay with it?” Yuuri asks shyly into his lap. Chris could not be more okay, not as long as Yuuri was happy.

“One hundred percent my dear,” Chris says. “Why wouldn't I be?”

“Well, I know we never stated it, but it was clear he was your date…” Chris is thankful they are at a red light, else he might have crashed them into oncoming traffic. Yuuri couldn't possibly mean what he was implying! that was preposterous. That was just code of some sort, Yuuri had to mean Viktor.

“He's charming I don't blame you.”

“He had a nice style, reminded me a little of Kpop,” Yuuri explains. Viktor though back to what Viktor was wearing, blue shirt tuxked in white pants, black jacket over his shoulders, Maybe? then again Chris wasn't familiar with the genre.

“How so?”

“I dunno, something about the cute pattern on his shirt I think.” That… could be either of the men they had seen that night, Chris needed to narrow it down.

“What else about him?”

“Chris does it bother you? you're pulling that face you do when you're irritated.”

“I’m just tired, don't worry I’m happy for you, go on.” Chris forced his face to not make a face. Yuuri looked down at his hands.

“Well… I tried to be as polite as I could, but he was really funny, and sweet, I never thought I’d ever get a fluttery, it was like a movie.” Yuuri pats his heart. That is too vague Yuuri give a straight answer!

“He likes animals too,” Chris begged every god known to man Yuuri would take the subject change to talk about Viktor's dog.

“He really does! His hamsters are probably so spoiled He seems to be the spoiling type.”

Chris kept composure nodding and smiling as Yuuri continued on and on about… Phichit. How energetic and fun he was, and his smile lit up his face, and the unique style he wore in cloths. Chris waited, til they were pulling up to the apartments, parking outside before turning to face Yuuri with a smile.

“Out of curiosity what were your thoughts on Viktor?” Chris might save this yet.

“He's not a bad person probably, And I'm sorry that I feel this way, because he isn't bad… but I just don't support his opinions.” Yuuri gives a shrug, then steps out of the car.

Chris’ jaw drops. Blown away by the casual way he blew Viktor off. Chris couldn't be more confused. had they not been talking for hours about the same topic? had they not been clicking so well? was Chris missing something? Chris opens the driver's side door stepping onto the sidewalk.

“Explain it a little more, I thought you two were getting on well, what about all that dog chit chat?”

“Well that was it really. He’s a generic big dog owner and thinks smaller breeds are lap dogs, worse than that a supporter of pure breeds.” Yuuri scoffs “He also has the idea that dogs should be trained like some circus animal instead of being just nice house pets? As if dogs are slaves?” Yuuri shook his head, “these ideas aren't something I can condone, I'm not going to stop him but I just can't agree with him either.”

Chris is floored. Staring at Yuuri all dressed up, shimmering and smiling sweetly, and felt like screaming.

“I understand that.” Chris did not, Viktor was perfect on all accounts! Chris would never find a man as handsome and perfect for Yuuri as Viktor, and here Yuuri was messing that all up! Chris pulled their building key out, calming himself down. They walked down the hall back in silence, opened their apartment and piled in. Yuuri was met by an energetic tiny poodle with a little black ribbon still holding up her top floof out of her eyes.

While Yuuri crooned over the dog, Chris excuses himself something about a shower or sleep, or to sleep IN the shower, then flops on his bed, where he properly groaned in annoyance.

In all his years Chris has never met someone so in need of someone and absolutely impossible to match up in his life. Nearly every roommate he’d ever had he managed to find someone for, some cases on the first try. But with Yuuri! it was near impossible to count the men he’d tried. Chris was simply burnt out over it. Yuuri didn't care! Yuuri would take Phichit a goofy hamster boy over a blue ribbon champion Viktor! What manner of beast was Yuuri!

The duchess stretched from where she lay on Chris’ pillows, standing on her little legs, and walking daintily over to sniff at her papa’s weary head, settling down to lick his bleached hair

“Merci, mon cher.” Chris sighs, reaching up to pat her long soft fur, she turns to lick his arm in reassurance. Chris pushed his hands against his eyes, knocking his glasses from his face.

How could one man be so damn picky? First was the cashier at the cafe who was “Too loud and too tall.” Then there was the guy who joined Chris’ gym polite sweet always gave Yuuri space but he was “Too sweaty, too buff.” The beautiful man from the city with pretty eyes, patient soul loved video games animals, and was vegan for christ sake did the cardinal sin of “drinking too much water” OF ALL THINGS. And that was just a few Yuuri gave reasons for. Sometimes Yuuri wouldn't even acknowledge the suitors simply eating and leaving. No callbacks no second dates, and never bringing any home.

Chris was at his wits end, finding someone who would make it past that immovable object that is Yuuri was impossible. Chris was just going to have to settle with that. Chris covered his eyes sighing. He just has to face it, he has no sense of what was good for Yuuri. Well, Chris knew what was GOOD for Yuuri, but he could never in a million years predict what Yuuri would fall for. Which was a grand total of Phichit! of all people!

A little white paw pushed against Chris’ skull, to better access his hair. Chris always though she prefered his bleached hair because it was crunchier than hers from all the damage bleaching did to it. She especially liked it after a workout, he supposed it was her feline version of potato chips.

Really though, who was Chris to try and make Yuuri date. Chris has thought this before and this time he's sure of it. Yuuri would just have to date in his own time. and Chris would have to respect that.

Chris pulled his phone from his pocket pulling up Phichit's number. If Yuuri wanted Phichit, than he could play this angle.

“How it go on your end?” Chris taps out. Then waits, taking a picture of Bea eating his hair for instagram. Mid Filing through filters and a caption, Phichit responds

“Good news and bad news”

“Bad news?”

“Viktor thinks Yuuri is a hippy.” Chris snorts out a laugh. at least the feeling is mutual. Though he’d have punched Viktor if he dared to say that in person, because Yuuri doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.

“How tactful. and good news.”

“Viktor thinks you're some pretty hot shit, babe.” Chris smiles to himself, at the praise, he's use to it, and really didn't matter because no matter how hot the man was, Chris promised Bea he'd never date a man with a big dog ever again, but compliments are always nice to hear.

“Good news and bad news for you too.”

“Good news.”

“Yuuri thinks you look like a Kpop star.”

“Aw! let me guess, the bad news is he thinks Viktor is a hippy?”

“Close, He thinks Viktor is,” How to word this properly. “a snob.” that'll do.

“Well shoot, I don't want to trade one recluse for another, besides I’m too young to settle down.”

“So now what do we do?”

“I could tell Viktor you skipped town and joined the black market.”

“What would only work until he came into the store for dog food.”

“Fair. I don't know what to do.” Chris tosses his phone on the bed reaching up and placing the snowball of a cat on his chest, what should they do? her blue eyes looked down at him blinking, her little pink nose sniffing the air.

In the past, Chris had never seen Yuuri so animated in conversation. Never seen him smile so much. He could blame his heart beating for Phichit, But no one had ever been Yuuri's friend so quickly than Viktor. It seemed just wrong to let that slide. Because dammit they were perfect for each other! So what do you do when Romeo thinks Juliet is a Hippy?

Chris’ phone goes off over his head.

“What if we lock them in an elevator for three hours? Then they will have no choice but to argue and make out to pass the time.” Phichit sends a winking emoji and chris shakes his head.

“I like the way that thought is going. but we should start slow.” Chris wondered where Yuuri would be most likely to change his mind about Viktor.

“Does Yuuri walk his dog at the park by elm st or the one off barracuda?”

“Elm. why?”

“Viktor walks Makkachin to Elm Everyday at 6am noon and 7pm. If we have them meet each other's dogs maybe we can use the dog as sort of a distraction to make them fall in love. 101 dalmatian style.”

“And if that doesn't work?”

“Then it's your turn to think of a plan bc I am not giving up on these two they would be so damn cute together!” Phichit embellished the text with fireworks and determined looking emoji.

“Well then, the game is afoot.”


End file.
